Quitting

My first job out of college was working as a secretary in the subsidiary rights department of MacMillan Publishing Company. MacMillan, a hard copy publisher, auctioned paperback publication rights to other publishers. With my Barnard degree, I had the honor of typing multiple copies of the identical letter to numerous potential bidders. Word processors were in their infancy. I was lucky to have an electric typewriter with automatic whiteout [for those of you who remember white out]. While I was growing up, my father made it quite clear that people who quit anything were depraved losers. On the first day on the job, I went to my father's office at lunchtime. I cried about how miserable I was with this menial position and he told me to quit! I wondered if I had walked into the wrong office.

Dad was right, but yet dad was wrong. Sometimes quitting is a sign of weakness, while at other times it is a sign of strength. It's kind of like cholesterol or fat - not all of it is good, but not all of it is bad. Negative quitting basically means laziness. Abandoning a goal because it requires a little bit of effort is just giving up - like being in a race and slowing down in the last 2 minutes instead of giving one last push. This type of quitter doesn't even want to bother showing up for life and would rather sit around waiting for death.

Deciding to abandon a harmful relationship, be it personal or professional, is a different matter. It is not a sign of weakness. In fact, it is just the opposite. Leaving a relationship or a job is risky. The next job or relationship could be worse - or it could be better. So long as best efforts have been made, abandoning an exercise in futility is entirely reasonable. Quitting bad or destructive habits also falls into this category. This is the 'good' kind of quitting; quitting that leads to positive changes.

Years have passed. I wish I could have had this discussion with my father, but, sadly, he passed away on August 11, 1991. Since that day in 1982, I have learned that sometimes quitting is justified and even admirable. Knowing when to hold 'em and knowing when to fold 'em is a far healthier and fulfilling state of mind.