Parental advocacy and the troubled child

So much for my efforts to transition away from stay-at-home mommying.  Yes, mommying is a verb.  Yesterday, I went totally Martha Stewart.  I made cream of asparagus soup using farmers' market produce purchased for my by Sharon Klein of Sharon Klein Graphic Design, as well as spinach quiche.  Of course, I made my own crust,  spinach from my garden outside and 1% milk.  Hey, if I am going to do this stay-at-home thing, I figure I should go the distance.  

I love listening to Doctor Joy Brown on WOR Radio 710 AM at 1 pm.  So, while I enjoyed my lunch of home-made minestrone [chicken stock with tomato paste, chopped tomatoes and chick peas], I listened in.  A woman called about her lost-soul, 21 year old daughter.  My heart went out to this mother.  I am so familiar with her anger, frustration and confusion - wondering why this child can't be like her 7 -yes, 7- siblings. This girl ditched college, started drinking, can't hold a job and is failing to live as a functioning adult.   I am glad that the mother finally reached out for help.

I related, because I had to go through a major attitude adjustment toward my eldest daughter and her unique obstacles.  My daughter faces challenges. Thankfully,  none of them are as life threatening as drinking, smoking, drug addition or an eating disorder. However, her issues do make me concerned for my daughter's ability to learn to be a functioning, independent adult, capable of performing basic life skills.  Yes, I am sad that this absolutely brilliant girl might not accomplish her potential, but she is only 15, so the book isn't yet closed and I am not giving up on her.  I am learning that my job, as a parent, is to advocate for this girl.  I am responsible for recognizing that there is a problem and seeking resources for help.  This life has been assigned to me to marshall through to adulthood.  I am grateful to all of the people who are helping accomplish this task; most especially, the Klennex folks for making the many wonderful facial tissues - they work great on tears.

The good news for Dr. Brown's caller is that the daughter is communicating her need for help.  Absent consent, parents cannot access medical information for children over the age of 18.  Recognizing that one's child isn't typical' is painful for everyone involved. It is equally painful for an underperforming child to face that they don't measure up to expectations or the accomplishments of their siblings. Providing positive support is imperative and parents must do everything to avoid getting the dreaded call to pick up the body.