Each year, that day comes
The Yarzeidt, the anniversary,
The commemoration
It will hurt
It always does
Each year
The recollection
There is a feeling
When you re-explore
The moments before
When the world was as it had been
The time you awoke,
How you felt,
What you wore
The weather
And then, the moment after
Fear, anguish, grief upon grief upon grief
The new world and the old one never to be again
Tomorrow, the day after, you
Adjust to the missing
The grief never fully abated
Remaining as, in time, a soft shadow
Or a phantom limb
You are forced to return
To new normal
You wake up and proceed
Perhaps you smile
I think that is what they would have wanted
To live, to experience
with greater care
For moments
Whose value cannot be told
Saturday, September 10, 2011
9/11
9/11 is perhaps the most significant day in the American collective consciousness. The national sentiment is one thing. The personal perspective of a New Yorker is quite another.
In 2001, I worked across the street from the World Trade Center. For me, the World Trade Center and its vicinity was a vibrant community. On Tuesdays, I shopped at the farmers' market. Strawberries and blueberries rarely made it home. New Jersey asparagus in late March signaled the end of winter. Like every market, this one was alive with chatter. I can't help but wonder, post-9/11, what happened to those people whose shoulders brushed mine reaching for the string beans.
9/11/2001 fell on a Tuesday. I was planning on stopping by the farmers' market before heading to my office. There were no news reports about the vendors until several weeks later, when passing mention was made in some newspaper. The farmers made it out, losing their produce and vehicles. But what of my fellow customers?
Public concerts on the World Trade Center plaza also added a sense of community. John Gorka played a concert at the World Trade Center plaza on the evening of August 29th. It was a crystal clear evening. The audience included fans who had traveled just to hear the concert. Workers leaving their offices, also sat to listen before heading elsewhere What was the fate of the men and women who stalled to listen? John Gorka wrote a poignant, slightly acerbic song called "I saw a Stranger with Your Hair." Though written about the painful fallout from a failed relationship, the context of that concert and the events that followed only a few days later, lend a different dimension to the lyrics:
I heard a stranger with your voice
It took me by surprise
Again I found it wasn't you
Just an angel in disguise
In for a visit
By the way how is my heart
I haven't seen it since you left
I'm almost sure it followed you
Could you sometime send it back
I'll buy the ticket
(Chorus)
I saw a stranger with your hair
I saw another with your eyes
I heard an angel with your voice
By the way how is my heart
By the way how is my heart
Whether or not we knew someone wrenched from life in the 9/11 attacks, a space is nonetheless in our hearts for all of the human lives and community lost in the attack. We mourn the reality that there are those who truly wish to hurt, maim and destroy. May we evolve to a new reality where we all strive for peace and health together. May peace be with you all on this 10th anniversary of 9/11.
In 2001, I worked across the street from the World Trade Center. For me, the World Trade Center and its vicinity was a vibrant community. On Tuesdays, I shopped at the farmers' market. Strawberries and blueberries rarely made it home. New Jersey asparagus in late March signaled the end of winter. Like every market, this one was alive with chatter. I can't help but wonder, post-9/11, what happened to those people whose shoulders brushed mine reaching for the string beans.
9/11/2001 fell on a Tuesday. I was planning on stopping by the farmers' market before heading to my office. There were no news reports about the vendors until several weeks later, when passing mention was made in some newspaper. The farmers made it out, losing their produce and vehicles. But what of my fellow customers?
Public concerts on the World Trade Center plaza also added a sense of community. John Gorka played a concert at the World Trade Center plaza on the evening of August 29th. It was a crystal clear evening. The audience included fans who had traveled just to hear the concert. Workers leaving their offices, also sat to listen before heading elsewhere What was the fate of the men and women who stalled to listen? John Gorka wrote a poignant, slightly acerbic song called "I saw a Stranger with Your Hair." Though written about the painful fallout from a failed relationship, the context of that concert and the events that followed only a few days later, lend a different dimension to the lyrics:
I heard a stranger with your voice
It took me by surprise
Again I found it wasn't you
Just an angel in disguise
In for a visit
By the way how is my heart
I haven't seen it since you left
I'm almost sure it followed you
Could you sometime send it back
I'll buy the ticket
(Chorus)
I saw a stranger with your hair
I saw another with your eyes
I heard an angel with your voice
By the way how is my heart
By the way how is my heart
Whether or not we knew someone wrenched from life in the 9/11 attacks, a space is nonetheless in our hearts for all of the human lives and community lost in the attack. We mourn the reality that there are those who truly wish to hurt, maim and destroy. May we evolve to a new reality where we all strive for peace and health together. May peace be with you all on this 10th anniversary of 9/11.
Thursday, September 8, 2011
When she was in 9th grade, my daughter was identified as a gifted student with non-visible, brain-based disabilities. Parenting this type of student requires active involvement even in the late years of high school. I was involved in reviewing assignments and teaching practices long after most parents are out of the picture. Consequently, I gained insight into ways in which education in my district fell short. Two areas of deficiency, in particular, were standouts. Unfortunately, I found that the teachers at this particular school neither respected their students' time and were not particularly concerned about articulating learning objectives, other than attaining 'good' scores on advanced placement tests.
The lack of attention to teaching time management was so glaring as to be highly offensive. One teacher was asked how long she would expect a typically functioning student to complete assignments and the response, accompanied by an eye roll and shoulder shrug was “I don’t know, it never occurred to me to ask.” A summer assignment for one advanced placement English course was so – in litigation speak – overly broad and unduly burdensome that it was offensive. It required students to basically create their own, hand-written study guide for an excessively long book - one that you wouldn't even name as a top ten, all time literary great. Basically, the assignment encompassed about a semester's worth of work. It was clear that the teacher didn't even take into consideration the amount of time it would take to complete the assignment or the fact that these students have other obligations.
Sadly, the life-long take away also didn't seem rank high in importance at the school my daughter attended. Again, that alarming summer English assignment is a prime example. Other than giving the students a really long book to read and lots of time consuming, meaningless busy work, there was no apparent educational objective. There was one teacher who effectively taught students to recognize rhetorical devices and enriched their reading experiences. However, my impression was that his primary objective was to make sure his students got high scores on the Advanced Placement exam. The meaningful lessons learned in that class were incidental and it should really be the other way around. It's about the content, not the exam. When students master the material, success on tests naturally follows. Of course, students need to be taught the test format, but that shouldn't be the primary focus of the course.
At a minimum, teachers should have respect for their student's time. Assignments should be formulated to develop specific skills and teach specific knowledge. I know funds are tight, but the changes I suggest cost absolutely nothing and require little more than application of common sense. This is not intended to condemn all teachers. In fact, I recently met a teacher from a neighboring district who told me that she constantly discusses time management in her middle school classes and that she makes sure to balance the load so that students can balance work and play over the weekend. I'll bet she can also tell you exactly what she hopes her students will have learned by the end of the year.
At the end of the day, I felt compelled to find another school where my daughter could complete her high school education. I am grateful for the support given by the district’s administration in permitting my daughter to complete her high school studies at a local college. I just glanced the syllabus for my daughter’s economics course. It clearly states the amount of time a student should expect to spend preparing for class and four precise objectives identifying what the teacher hopes students will learn in the course. This is as it should be.
The lack of attention to teaching time management was so glaring as to be highly offensive. One teacher was asked how long she would expect a typically functioning student to complete assignments and the response, accompanied by an eye roll and shoulder shrug was “I don’t know, it never occurred to me to ask.” A summer assignment for one advanced placement English course was so – in litigation speak – overly broad and unduly burdensome that it was offensive. It required students to basically create their own, hand-written study guide for an excessively long book - one that you wouldn't even name as a top ten, all time literary great. Basically, the assignment encompassed about a semester's worth of work. It was clear that the teacher didn't even take into consideration the amount of time it would take to complete the assignment or the fact that these students have other obligations.
Sadly, the life-long take away also didn't seem rank high in importance at the school my daughter attended. Again, that alarming summer English assignment is a prime example. Other than giving the students a really long book to read and lots of time consuming, meaningless busy work, there was no apparent educational objective. There was one teacher who effectively taught students to recognize rhetorical devices and enriched their reading experiences. However, my impression was that his primary objective was to make sure his students got high scores on the Advanced Placement exam. The meaningful lessons learned in that class were incidental and it should really be the other way around. It's about the content, not the exam. When students master the material, success on tests naturally follows. Of course, students need to be taught the test format, but that shouldn't be the primary focus of the course.
At a minimum, teachers should have respect for their student's time. Assignments should be formulated to develop specific skills and teach specific knowledge. I know funds are tight, but the changes I suggest cost absolutely nothing and require little more than application of common sense. This is not intended to condemn all teachers. In fact, I recently met a teacher from a neighboring district who told me that she constantly discusses time management in her middle school classes and that she makes sure to balance the load so that students can balance work and play over the weekend. I'll bet she can also tell you exactly what she hopes her students will have learned by the end of the year.
At the end of the day, I felt compelled to find another school where my daughter could complete her high school education. I am grateful for the support given by the district’s administration in permitting my daughter to complete her high school studies at a local college. I just glanced the syllabus for my daughter’s economics course. It clearly states the amount of time a student should expect to spend preparing for class and four precise objectives identifying what the teacher hopes students will learn in the course. This is as it should be.
Tuesday, March 8, 2011
Fiber! Food!
Inspired by an article by Frank Bruni in this past Sunday's New York Times Magazine section (March 6, 2011, The Billionaire Who Is Planning His 125th Birthday," http://tinyurl.com/462kdta), I was motivated to put more fruits and vegetables in my grocery cart this week. At the store, I noticed Tanya Zuckerbrot's new line of F-Factor foods. Zuckerbrot's claim to fame is her F-Factor diet, which emphasizes eating substantial amounts of fiber daily.
I bought a few bags of frozen blueberries and raspberries and a bunch of bananas. I pureed some of the berries for an enjoyable afternoon snack. This morning, I made a smoothie with the fruit, adding a dash of cranberry juice and a dash of orange/peach/mango juice, plus a sprinkle of xylitol crystals. Both concoctions were delicious, but they required time, planning and equipment.
The F-Factor line includes a line of snack bars. They pack in a remarkable 12 grams of dietary fiber, which is 50 percent of the suggested daily requirement. I tried the banana walnut. It didn't come close to my tasty fruit smoothie, but it didn't taste like cardboard, either. There was a definite banana walnut taste. Though chocolate usually makes anything palatable, it didn't do the trick in this case; the brownie flavor didn't stand up. It's all subjective, but in my opinion, the brownie flavor was, well, yuck.
If you do try these bars, do remember to drink tons of water so that the fiber can work its magic. Zuckerbrot's product certainly is convenient, but nothing competes with mother nature.
Wednesday, February 2, 2011
Joan Hamburg Show, Ice Storm or No!
Joan Hamburg of WOR 710 am Radio is one of my favorite radio hosts. Periodically, Ms. Hamburg tapes her show before a live audience at either Sardi’s or 21 Club in Manhattan. I finally had the chance to attend a recording on February 2, 2011 at Sardi’s. The ice storm that had closed schools in the New York metropolitan area did not deter. Ever intrepid, I slid my car down my driveway and made it to the train station. We were tush to tummy on the train, but I made it to Sardi’s with time to spare.
My efforts were rewarded. I enjoyed watching Ms. Hamburg interview Donatella Arpaia, Isaac Mizrahi, Brooke Shields and Harvey Fierstein in person. I don’t know if a theme was intended, but all of the guests had in common ambition, creativity and the ability to take chances. Family and education were also formative influences on these accomplished talents.
Donatella Arpaia is a firebrand of youthful energy. This remarkable young woman has become a formidable restaurateur, television personality and cookbook author. Raised in a restaurant family, Ms. Arpaia recounted that her father had to go to work as a waiter even on his own wedding day. Ms. Arpaia became an attorney by the time she was 22, and her father was chagrined when she announced her desire to enter the restaurant business. Ms Arapaia is an elegant woman who persevered even after losing substantial amounts of money in a venture. Every experience, she said, is a lesson.
Delightful, darling and genuine. That is what I think of Isaac Mizrahi. Mr. Mizrahi’s father manufactured childrens’ wear. When young Isaac started to experiment with sewing, his father gave him a machine and taught his son the craft. By the age of 15, Mr. Mizrahi already had a line of clothing being sold commercially. Though he always knew what he wanted to do, he is at a crossroads. He loves selling on QVC. His innovative web venture, watchisaac.com, is an on-line community devoted to fashion is a must join.
Beautiful, brilliant Brooke Shields breezed in wearing a pretty magenta chiffon dress and the highest of heels to cheer up the audience on this stormy day. Brooke told the audience how much she values her education and that going to college was a risky choice in the entertainment business. Now, she is taking a chance doing something new; a solo cabaret show at Feinstein’s at the Loew’s Regency.
Harvey Fierstein was the last guest. I have long held that life sometimes leads in unexpected directions and that it is best to follow the current. Fierstein was pursuing a painting degree at Pratt Institute when he auditioned for an Andy Warhol play. He found himself acting. Then, someone suggested that he try writing. Because he is dyslexic, writing never occurred to him. But he took a chance and the result was Torch Song Trilogy and, subsequently, the book for the musical version of La Cage au Folles, garnering numerous awards for his efforts. He is returning to Broadway in a new production as Albin in a few weeks.
Obviously, being present at the taping was quite different than listening to the show on the radio. It was fun to be part of the action, watching producer Natalie busily managing guests, the audience and recording equipment to make sure all was as smooth as silk. But I enjoy the listening experience, too. Joan Hamburg is a remarkable personality. Listening to Joan Hamburg on the radio, one gets the impression that she is friendly and open. An in-person meeting was no different. She is genuine and truly values the relationships she develops with her guests and her audience. Warm, welcoming and sincere, Ms. Hamburg is a unique gem. Braving the elements was worthwhile.
Sunday, January 2, 2011
Judgment Day
Dr. Andrea Gould of Lucid Learning Systems, www.lucidlearning.com, recently led a group in which all the members were confronting some sort of life transition. Dr. Gould taught us to listen to one another and preface any suggestions with the phrase "if it were my life." At first glance, it seemed like a polite way to couch criticism. In fact, the phrase is a rich, potent communication tool.
More often than not, choices are like ever so many roads intersecting in the woods. The woods tend to be dark, the 'right way' generally is lost* and taking "the one less travelled" can make all the difference.** Every decision involves individual point of view. Decisions can often be painful, confusing and frightening. Often, those pronouncing judgment really mean to be helpful. Judgmental criticism, however, obscures this intent. Instead, judgmental criticism is just one more onslaught, while tendering advice by offering a different perspective is far more constructive and calming. Use of the phrase "if it were my life" enhances empathy, increases respect for autonomy and serves as a useful tool for offering support.
*Inferno, Dante Alighieri, 1st Tercet: In the middle of the journey of our lives, I came upon myself in the middle of a dark wood, where the right way was lost.
** The Road Not Taken, Robert Frost
Saturday, December 25, 2010
Why is this day different?
Christmas makes me appreciate that I am different. I am not part of the dominant, white Christian culture, thoughsSome of my best friends are both white and Christian. Seriously. But the experience of not being part of the mainstream, not being part of the revelry that is Christmas, reminds me of my heritage.
The exclusion is just as much as a reminder as is observance. To be sure, there are subtle differences in experiencing exclusion versus observance. Observance requires active involvement with tradition, while exclusion is passive and subtle.
This time of year highlights an awkward divide. Some Christian friends are at a loss for words. One friend warmly drew us into her home and celebration. We honestly had great fun and ate ourselves silly, but we were visitors. I am proud of who I am, I am comfortable and I am grateful to appreciate what it feels like to be different.
When I am among the dominant culture in the room, I have the strength to reach out to the 'other' among us. Today, I have everything in common with any other non-Christian. How ironic that on Christian holidays, Muslims and Jews are especially united as outsiders. If only we could embrace that commonality.
Sunday, December 19, 2010
Postcards from the edge
In some respects, receiving cards from friends at holidays is a warm gesture that I appreciate. How nice it is to know that you are in someone's thoughts. On the other hand, once I have opened the envelope, I have no idea of what to do with these cards.
Frankly, the cards I receive are promptly placed in the garbage. Then, I feel badly; someone thought enough to keep me in their thoughts, and I toss their card in the trash. Being environmentally conscious makes the greeting card issue especially irksome. Someone thought enough to send me a card, I guiltily toss the missive or picture of their precious children and, to top it all off, I get an additional dose of guilt for having added to a landfill.
My solution is that I simply don't send out holiday cards. Never have, never will. I don't send them for the Jewish New Year, nor do I send them at Christmas. On occasion, I have sent out e-mail missives for various holidays and that is about the extent of it. Perhaps I should be more thoughtful. Perhaps I should be more organized, but I am not. Oh well, I suppose I will have to accept imperfection. Happy holidays to all.
Saturday, November 20, 2010
A Dog's Life
National Public Radio's "All Things Considered" featured a memorable program about parasites. Toxoplasmosis, a parasite in cat feces, was discussed in detail. Apparently, rats and mice ingest the toxoplasmosis, which travels into the rodents' brains. As a consequence of the parasite, the smell of cat becomes attractive to the smaller critters. Since the infected mice and rats are drawn to cats, they become easy prey. Anyone who has had a cat knows the rest of the story. The radio program I listened to surmised that perhaps toxoplasmosis has a similar effect on people who live with cats. It is often said that the cat owns the human, and not the other way around.
I wonder if there is a similar substance in dogs. Before I had a dog, I had little interest in these creatures. Now, I notice dogs constantly. This morning I heard a brief discussion about the death of Target, a former stray who, along with several other dogs, thwarted a suicide bomber in Afghanistan. Target was accidentally euthanized. Honestly, I got a little choked up as I heard the story recounted.
Target and the other dogs who were with him in Afghanistan demonstrated the quality of altruism - unselfish concern for others' welfare. How remarkable that such a lofty emotion can be demonstrated by a simple dog. How pathetic that the dogs were morally superior than most humans.
Has my little dog affected some chemical change in my brain that makes me partial to other dogs? Or have I been moved by a truly remarkable story involving purity of spirit? In any event, there is a lesson here for all of us humans, dog and cat lovers alike. Would that we all could demonstrate gratitude for the simple things that others do for us. Would that we could all be sufficiently brave to protect and defend our pack.
Saturday, November 13, 2010
The Circle of Life
Today is my birthday. The first week in this new year of my life is filled with practically every life-cycle event imaginable. A friend called to let me know her son and daughter-in-law had a new baby boy this week and asked me to join them at the bris. In a short while, I will head to the local Jewish Center to help celebrate a bat mitzvah. Tomorrow, there is a funeral for a friend's mother died yesterday after a very long illness. On this day, I feel like I am in the middle of a whirlpool, surrounded and embraced by all of these events.
Yesterday, I called our family's favorite special occasion restaurant to make a reservation. The maitre d' knows my family and we caught up on the news of pending marriages of the then children, now young adults. We spoke about the perspective we have up here on this mountain of the aged. It is frightening, kind of like peering over a cliff.
Though I am definitely more vibrant and active than my parents were at my age, I wonder if my children, nieces and nephews think of me as an ancient. In some ways, I think they don't. On the other hand, it would be nice to be accorded the respect of a venerable elder.
Tuesday, October 19, 2010
North Shore-LIJ Healthcare Systems and its Visionary President and CEO
North Shore-LIJ Healthcare Systems is raising funds for construction of the new Katz Institute for Women's Health and Katz Women's Hospital. In support of that effort, a group of Long Island executives, called the Commerce and Industry Council, held an event at which Michael J. Dowling, president and chief executive officer of North Shore-LIJ Healthcare Systems, was the keynote speaker. Mr. Dowling is visionary.
Healthcare is a complex industry. It involves people of varying skill, real estate, construction, facility maintenance, supplies, equipment and security.* North Shore-LIJ hires approximately 80 to 90 people each week, and Mr. Dowling meets them all. Up-to-date facilities, however, are integral to provision of medical services. New York's medical facilities, in particular, are aging.
Fifty may be the new thirty for people, but not so for buildings. The expense of building hospitals is close to incomprehensible. Covering the costs for delivery of care by the medical professionals is another challenge in the face of cuts to medicare and medicaid. Mr. Dowling, however, seems one step ahead. He has anticipated and prepared for changes in the landscape of the healthcare industry. Facilities for professional and patient education, as well as facilities for treatment have been created throughout the metropolitan area, and expansion is envisioned.
Excellent medical education is a hallmark of America's medical care system, yet not one medical school has opened in the United States the past 30 years. Hofstra University and North Shore-LIJ will co-own and operate a new medical school and the first class is currently being selected. Mr. Dowling told the group that 4,000 applications are ultimately expected and that the first year class will be comprised of only 40 students. The class will expand to 100 over the course of a short, few years.
Healthcare is a complex industry. It involves people of varying skill, real estate, construction, facility maintenance, supplies, equipment and security.* North Shore-LIJ hires approximately 80 to 90 people each week, and Mr. Dowling meets them all. Up-to-date facilities, however, are integral to provision of medical services. New York's medical facilities, in particular, are aging.
Fifty may be the new thirty for people, but not so for buildings. The expense of building hospitals is close to incomprehensible. Covering the costs for delivery of care by the medical professionals is another challenge in the face of cuts to medicare and medicaid. Mr. Dowling, however, seems one step ahead. He has anticipated and prepared for changes in the landscape of the healthcare industry. Facilities for professional and patient education, as well as facilities for treatment have been created throughout the metropolitan area, and expansion is envisioned.
Excellent medical education is a hallmark of America's medical care system, yet not one medical school has opened in the United States the past 30 years. Hofstra University and North Shore-LIJ will co-own and operate a new medical school and the first class is currently being selected. Mr. Dowling told the group that 4,000 applications are ultimately expected and that the first year class will be comprised of only 40 students. The class will expand to 100 over the course of a short, few years.
A multitude of jobs continues to be created by the healthcare system that Mr. Dowling has created. Mr. Dowling said, "no one is perfect, but we always try to close the gap between where we are and where we want to be." In a troubled economy, Mr. Dowling is spearheading a remarkable effort to create a network that will provide jobs and stimulate the local economy, while creating a premiere network for provision of medical care and professional training. These impressive efforts will have a positive impact on thousands of people in the New York metropolitan area for years to come.
*For an idea of how many people are involved in the daily operation of a hospital, I highly recommend the You Tube video entitled "Pink Glove Dance."
*For an idea of how many people are involved in the daily operation of a hospital, I highly recommend the You Tube video entitled "Pink Glove Dance."
Sunday, October 17, 2010
Triumph over Adversity, a Good Story
I just finished reading the "Modern Love Column" in the 'Styles' section of today's Sunday New York Times. It is my favorite column of the week. The stories range from ones where love conquers all to those where love doesn't succeed. In today's column, love permitted the writer to move on from tragic losses. It made me wonder whether sadness is the sole impetus for evocative prose? Jeanette Walls's "The Glass Castle," which recounts a most fantastic childhood with mentally ill parents is riveting. Frank McCourt's book, "Angela's Ashes" was a remarkable ouvre. These works grab your attention.
A former colleague was a student of Frank McCourt's at Stuyvesant High School in New York City. He told me that McCourt had no patience for anyone who handed in a story that didn't include a healthy dose of suffering and deprivation. As far as McCourt was concerned, exposure to alchoholism was a necessary life experience. I suppose the man had a point; sad stories are compelling.
Tragic events provide dramatic action forcing change. To succeed, the change must be inspirational. Otherwise, the story wouldn't be worth telling. Certainly, had McCourt or Walls not overcome their pasts, they would not have been capable of writing their works. Perhaps someone else would have picked up the story of someone who survived a broken childhood only to continue a pattern of destitution. That story would just show how some people lack the ability to extract themselves from pathetic lives. A desperate situation is an attention grabber. The reader must find out what happens and how the protagonist emerges victorious. How did McCourt go from being an urchin to a distinguished educator? How did Walls end up living on Park Avenue while her mother scavenged in garbage cans? Somehow, they do move beyond their circumstances, and if they can do it, so, too, can the reader. The contrast is essential to the inspirational message. I suppose that we must accept that triumph over adversity is an essential ingredient to a story worth reading.
A former colleague was a student of Frank McCourt's at Stuyvesant High School in New York City. He told me that McCourt had no patience for anyone who handed in a story that didn't include a healthy dose of suffering and deprivation. As far as McCourt was concerned, exposure to alchoholism was a necessary life experience. I suppose the man had a point; sad stories are compelling.
Tragic events provide dramatic action forcing change. To succeed, the change must be inspirational. Otherwise, the story wouldn't be worth telling. Certainly, had McCourt or Walls not overcome their pasts, they would not have been capable of writing their works. Perhaps someone else would have picked up the story of someone who survived a broken childhood only to continue a pattern of destitution. That story would just show how some people lack the ability to extract themselves from pathetic lives. A desperate situation is an attention grabber. The reader must find out what happens and how the protagonist emerges victorious. How did McCourt go from being an urchin to a distinguished educator? How did Walls end up living on Park Avenue while her mother scavenged in garbage cans? Somehow, they do move beyond their circumstances, and if they can do it, so, too, can the reader. The contrast is essential to the inspirational message. I suppose that we must accept that triumph over adversity is an essential ingredient to a story worth reading.
Friday, October 8, 2010
The Camel Knows the Way
"The Camel Knows the Way" is an autobiography recounting Lorna Kelly's successful career as the first woman auctioneer at Sotheby's, her battle with alchoholism, humbling experiences in Calcutta and a remarkable relationship with Mother Theresa. Though it is a story of Ms. Kelly's particularly Christian spiritual awakening, "The Camel Knows the Way" nonetheless speaks to people of all religions. The author's artful use of language to portray vivid images and emotions, as well as her honesty, is remarkable.
Ms. Kelly's spiritual shift experienced through her work in Calcutta is beyond moving. Ms. Kelly learns to see each and every person as worthy of compassion, even the people covered in filth and feces. She accomplishes this by envisioning each suffering person as Jesus, himself or, in one case, as her mother. With that shift, Ms. Kelly is emboldened to help the people of Calcutta. Even though I am Jewish, I found this metaphor particularly transformational. It is a metaphor that frequently comes to mind, especially in the midst of some of the more exasperating moments in parenthood.
I have had the honor of meeting Ms. Kelly and speaking with her in person. We first met at a school fair, where I had purchased my copy of "The Camel Knows the Way, a Journey. " When I sought out Ms. Kelly for an inscription, I found her, gleefully getting her face painted. It was not surprising to read that Ms. Kelly jumped into the Sea of Gallilee fully clothed. I would expect no less of someone this brave, adventurous and alive. Ms. Kelly's full embrace of life is admirable.
Ms. Kelly's spiritual shift experienced through her work in Calcutta is beyond moving. Ms. Kelly learns to see each and every person as worthy of compassion, even the people covered in filth and feces. She accomplishes this by envisioning each suffering person as Jesus, himself or, in one case, as her mother. With that shift, Ms. Kelly is emboldened to help the people of Calcutta. Even though I am Jewish, I found this metaphor particularly transformational. It is a metaphor that frequently comes to mind, especially in the midst of some of the more exasperating moments in parenthood.
I have had the honor of meeting Ms. Kelly and speaking with her in person. We first met at a school fair, where I had purchased my copy of "The Camel Knows the Way, a Journey. " When I sought out Ms. Kelly for an inscription, I found her, gleefully getting her face painted. It was not surprising to read that Ms. Kelly jumped into the Sea of Gallilee fully clothed. I would expect no less of someone this brave, adventurous and alive. Ms. Kelly's full embrace of life is admirable.
Sunday, September 26, 2010
Oliver Stone's Wall Street, Money Never Sleeps
Wall Street, Money Never Sleeps is worth seeing. Gordon Gekko, the arch villain of the original 1987 film, is released from a lengthy prison sentence to start life anew. In the intervening years, his daughter, Winnie, has grown up. Proclaiming abhorrence of all things Wall Street, Winnie has nonetheless fallen in love with a young man named Jacob Moore who is, surprise, a Wall Street trader. Jacob, played by Shia LaBoeuf, represents 'the good'. He isn't in the money game for money alone. Instead, his objective is to raise funds to support development of a technology he believes really will be a game changer in the alternative energy field. He avenges injuries inflicted on his beloved mentor, Lewis Zabel, by hedge fund manager Bretton James. Zabel, played by Frank Langella, committs suicide as a consequence of James's exposure of extensive bad debt held by Zabel's firm. On top of all that, prince Jacob makes best efforts to effect a reconciliation between Gekko and his daughter.
This movie is Shakespearean. Power plays, meetings in oak paneled rooms, accusations and miscommunications, deceptions and betrayals abound. Lewis Zabel's ghost even appears to prince Jacob after Zabel's suicide. Hamlet? As the senior member of the Federal Reserve, Eli Wallach's character functions as the fool. Wallach's ancient of Wall Street appears to be completely batty, yet it is he who anoints or condemns. In this film's world, the wheel of fortune spins rapidly, with money replacing dominion as the crux for conflict.
Shia LaBoeuf was perfect as the young prince. The actor convincingly portrayed innocence, conviction, love and passion. Gordon Gekko is Michael Douglas' character. No one else could ever assume that role. Douglas looked rugged and aged. One imagines that Douglas skipped months of botox treatments. Josh Brolin conveyed perfect evil and duplicity through the vehicle of Bretton James. Susan Sarandon portrayed the quintessential Long Islander as Jacob's mother. Loved seeing Sylvia Miles reappear as a realtor selling Jacob's apartment. They both afforded comic relief. I was not enthralled by Carey Mulligan's performance. Constant resort to tears detracted from her character's depth. Also, the audience never sees real anger, even though Winnie professes to be furious with her father. This was surprising, considering all of the other attention to detail in this film. There is one other plot flaw. Gekko's actions at the end of the film, and I will not be a spoiler, seem inconsistent with his personality. Go and judge for yourself.
This movie is Shakespearean. Power plays, meetings in oak paneled rooms, accusations and miscommunications, deceptions and betrayals abound. Lewis Zabel's ghost even appears to prince Jacob after Zabel's suicide. Hamlet? As the senior member of the Federal Reserve, Eli Wallach's character functions as the fool. Wallach's ancient of Wall Street appears to be completely batty, yet it is he who anoints or condemns. In this film's world, the wheel of fortune spins rapidly, with money replacing dominion as the crux for conflict.
Shia LaBoeuf was perfect as the young prince. The actor convincingly portrayed innocence, conviction, love and passion. Gordon Gekko is Michael Douglas' character. No one else could ever assume that role. Douglas looked rugged and aged. One imagines that Douglas skipped months of botox treatments. Josh Brolin conveyed perfect evil and duplicity through the vehicle of Bretton James. Susan Sarandon portrayed the quintessential Long Islander as Jacob's mother. Loved seeing Sylvia Miles reappear as a realtor selling Jacob's apartment. They both afforded comic relief. I was not enthralled by Carey Mulligan's performance. Constant resort to tears detracted from her character's depth. Also, the audience never sees real anger, even though Winnie professes to be furious with her father. This was surprising, considering all of the other attention to detail in this film. There is one other plot flaw. Gekko's actions at the end of the film, and I will not be a spoiler, seem inconsistent with his personality. Go and judge for yourself.
Wednesday, September 1, 2010
Sunrise, sunset
I often wonder whether lyricist Sheldon Harnick and composer Jerry Bock knew that "Fiddler on the Roof" was going to be a hit or, for that matter, a timeless classic. Through the vehicle of the Jewish liturgical cycle, the work addresses universal themes such as the of brevity of life and the swiftness of time's passage. The dispersal of an entire village underscores the frailty of existence of individuals and entire communities. Anatevka was a fictional town in Czarist Russia. Its residents knew that, as Jews, they weren't welcome and that changes were afoot. One day, suddenly it seems, the residents are told that they are to leave. It's over. So, too, in individual lives, gradual changes are barely noticeable. Feet grow, clothes become small, the tooth fairy period comes and goes. Then, one fine morning, everything is different.
We experience childhood, waiting to become teenagers and anxious to assume responsibilities. All of the sudden, we find ourselves out in the real world. Ellen Futter, then the in-coming president of Barnard College, gave a speech at my college graduation. My recollection is that she told us that we would spend the next ten years trying to accomplish specific goals. It would seem like it was taking forever, until ten years had passed and we would wonder how all that time had passed so quickly.
Here we are at Jewish New Years again. Another year is about to begin and another about to end. Instead of a year of gradual change, this is one of great transition for my family. A daughter is about to leave for school and embark on a new adventure. Another has returned home and will be spending her year at a new school. All of the sudden, my time as a full-time stay-at-home mother is coming to a close, but another door is opening. Now, it is time to embark on new adventures. Happy New Year to all.
We experience childhood, waiting to become teenagers and anxious to assume responsibilities. All of the sudden, we find ourselves out in the real world. Ellen Futter, then the in-coming president of Barnard College, gave a speech at my college graduation. My recollection is that she told us that we would spend the next ten years trying to accomplish specific goals. It would seem like it was taking forever, until ten years had passed and we would wonder how all that time had passed so quickly.
Here we are at Jewish New Years again. Another year is about to begin and another about to end. Instead of a year of gradual change, this is one of great transition for my family. A daughter is about to leave for school and embark on a new adventure. Another has returned home and will be spending her year at a new school. All of the sudden, my time as a full-time stay-at-home mother is coming to a close, but another door is opening. Now, it is time to embark on new adventures. Happy New Year to all.
Saturday, August 28, 2010
Obscenity: You'll Know if When You See It
Never have I thought of an automobile as obscene. Until now. The Automobile Section for the August 29, 2010 Sunday edition of The New York Times contains a review of the 2010 Mercedes Benz E63 AMG. This car is nothing less than offensive. The $100,000 price tag isn't shocking. However, the car "burns $1 in gas every three or four miles" which translates to 9.5 miles per gallon. Is the Mercedes-Benz marketing team living in a cave?
I am not necessarily an ardent environmentalist, but I can't imagine what prompted development of this obscene machine. The market, high end included, clearly is interested in using less fuel, not more. Production of the E63 is absurd in the current climate. I can't imagine what the folks at Mercedes-Benz had in mind. I would imagine that some potential customers might think twice about purchasing a Mercedes-Benz at all. It definitely will impact my decision, and I happen to be in the market for a car.
In Jacobelis v. Ohio, 378 U.S.184 (1964), Justice Potter Stewart wrote a minority decision in a case deciding whether a particular film was "hardcore pornography." Justice Stewart stated that he could not intelligibly define hardcore pornography, but he would 'know it when he saw it.' There probably won't be many E63s on the road. However, if you happen to see one, think of Justice Stewart's statement.
I am not necessarily an ardent environmentalist, but I can't imagine what prompted development of this obscene machine. The market, high end included, clearly is interested in using less fuel, not more. Production of the E63 is absurd in the current climate. I can't imagine what the folks at Mercedes-Benz had in mind. I would imagine that some potential customers might think twice about purchasing a Mercedes-Benz at all. It definitely will impact my decision, and I happen to be in the market for a car.
In Jacobelis v. Ohio, 378 U.S.184 (1964), Justice Potter Stewart wrote a minority decision in a case deciding whether a particular film was "hardcore pornography." Justice Stewart stated that he could not intelligibly define hardcore pornography, but he would 'know it when he saw it.' There probably won't be many E63s on the road. However, if you happen to see one, think of Justice Stewart's statement.
Tuesday, August 24, 2010
Accepting Limitations
For most of my life, I suffered recurring, horrific colds and respiratory infections. My first bout of strep occurred when I was in the second grade. I missed most of the winter of grades 4 through 7 because of pneumonia. My mother would sit up with me nights while I experienced coughing fits. Eventually, I figured out how to function while ill. I remember driving from Manhattan to Hartford for a business meeting accompanied by a box of tissues, a bottle of seltzer and a box of Hall's cough drops. Finally, at the age of 48, I was diagnosed with an immune deficiency and immediately felt different in my own skin.
A friend recently discovered that she and her son lack a sufficient amount of a component in their blood called Von Willebrand factor. Von Willebrand factor enables blood to clot. This woman gave birth to two children and miscarried a third. Her son bruised easily in contact sports. It never occurred to anyone that there was a problem until the son had oral surgery recently. His failure to clot properly resulted in a diagnosis. All of the sudden, my friend and her son found themselves confronting the reality that they were, in fact, living with a flawed.
It feels slightly creepy to learn that you really have any type of non-visible disability. There is a sudden, yet invisible change. You are not who you thought you were; you deceived yourself. Instead of being a strong, healthy person, you are a person with a problem and the problem has a name. Those are two very different identities, and ours is a society in which weakness is not a positive. As always, self-acceptance remains a challenge.
A friend recently discovered that she and her son lack a sufficient amount of a component in their blood called Von Willebrand factor. Von Willebrand factor enables blood to clot. This woman gave birth to two children and miscarried a third. Her son bruised easily in contact sports. It never occurred to anyone that there was a problem until the son had oral surgery recently. His failure to clot properly resulted in a diagnosis. All of the sudden, my friend and her son found themselves confronting the reality that they were, in fact, living with a flawed.
It feels slightly creepy to learn that you really have any type of non-visible disability. There is a sudden, yet invisible change. You are not who you thought you were; you deceived yourself. Instead of being a strong, healthy person, you are a person with a problem and the problem has a name. Those are two very different identities, and ours is a society in which weakness is not a positive. As always, self-acceptance remains a challenge.
Sunday, August 15, 2010
Fall Fashion Economic Indicator
It's back to school time and I am busily refreshing the wardrobes of two teenaged girls. This is challenging, when style is comatose and the color palate is absolutely dead. I have been scouring malls and boutiques for the past two weeks, from high end to low end. There is absolutely nothing new or exciting on the racks. Literally. Palates are limited to grey and black, with a one muted color thrown in, depending on the line. J. Crew"s offerings followed the trend, with two mustard yellow pieces and a few pale heather pieces. The lines reflected design paralysis and depression. Even the attempt at infusing a lift through the use magenta by Anne Taylor Loft fell flat. Only the use of a lovely plum served to entice interest in a suit I saw in Lord & Taylor at the Westchester Mall.
Another noticeable trend was limited inventory. Vendors seem to be anticipating a market of unwilling buyers who will purchase only items that are absolutely needed. Interestingly, the shoe inventory seems to differ. The Aeresoles store was chock full of new designs and an array of fall colors. Thank heaven; we'll need a lift from drab grey. My survey has been entirely unscientific, but my impression is that retailers do not look forward to a successful season and are cutting their losses. If the tenor of the retail fashion market is correct, we are in for a bleak winter. Hopefully, we will see more positive signs in the spring.
Another noticeable trend was limited inventory. Vendors seem to be anticipating a market of unwilling buyers who will purchase only items that are absolutely needed. Interestingly, the shoe inventory seems to differ. The Aeresoles store was chock full of new designs and an array of fall colors. Thank heaven; we'll need a lift from drab grey. My survey has been entirely unscientific, but my impression is that retailers do not look forward to a successful season and are cutting their losses. If the tenor of the retail fashion market is correct, we are in for a bleak winter. Hopefully, we will see more positive signs in the spring.
Friday, August 6, 2010
Intolerance
Have you noticed that society is increasingly intolerant? A disturbing article in the August 6, 2010 New York Times reported on the campaign by the Dutch political leader, Geert Wilders to ban the Koran and impose a tax on head scarves. Does this remind anyone else of a certain dismal periods of history?
Americans interred Japanese residents. Germany rounded up Jews like cattle. Genocide was committed by the Tutsis against the Hutus in Rwanda. Scores of Muslims were killed by Serbs in Bosnia. The Shiites hate the Sunni. Now, we have all Westerners, both European and American, against all Muslims. Let's all get on the hate bandwagon!
There is a psychological comfort in the "us" versus "them" attitude. Viewing the world through the us/them lens makes for easy identity of the enemy. Trying to determine those individuals in the 'them' group who don't threaten the goals of 'us' is too hard. Directing vitriol toward an entire group is easy, yet so very dangerous. It lends credence to complaints of oppression and may entice some of 'them,' in this case Muslims, to return intolerance with intolerance, perhaps expressed through violence.
There is an undeniable basis for the conflicts among the Muslim and the Judeo Christian world. Indeed, the campaign of fundamentalist Islam is against Western Civilization. It brutalizes women and children. Peace with Israel is not even in the fundamentalist Muslim playbook. Wilders recognizes that Israel is the victim of fundamentalist Muslim brutality, because Israel serves as an easily bullied symbol of everything Western. However, the mistake lies in failing to understand that being Muslim and acceptance of a Judeo-Christian ethic are not mutually exclusive. Lumping all Muslims together in one big category of evil is overly simplistic and plain wrong. Distinguishing between fundamentalist, radical Islam and the more tolerant among the Muslim community is crucial. There are many peaceful, kind Muslims, even among observant Muslims and they need to come forward so that they can get well-deserved recognition and support.
Society needs to avoid the low road of hatred. Any tax or ban of religious garb, and certainly the ban of the Koran or bible in any country is absolutely unacceptable. Equally unacceptable are any violent attacks against anyone who criticizes either the Western or Muslim communities. As we tell children, use words, not fists, remembering always that words can be a source of healing. Wisdom often comes from the mouths of the simple and Rodney King, the robber who was caught and beaten by Los Angeles Police after a high speed chase, said it best when he posed the question: "Why can't we all just get along?" Even Anne Frank, in her diary, stated her belief that "...all people are basically good."
Americans interred Japanese residents. Germany rounded up Jews like cattle. Genocide was committed by the Tutsis against the Hutus in Rwanda. Scores of Muslims were killed by Serbs in Bosnia. The Shiites hate the Sunni. Now, we have all Westerners, both European and American, against all Muslims. Let's all get on the hate bandwagon!
There is a psychological comfort in the "us" versus "them" attitude. Viewing the world through the us/them lens makes for easy identity of the enemy. Trying to determine those individuals in the 'them' group who don't threaten the goals of 'us' is too hard. Directing vitriol toward an entire group is easy, yet so very dangerous. It lends credence to complaints of oppression and may entice some of 'them,' in this case Muslims, to return intolerance with intolerance, perhaps expressed through violence.
There is an undeniable basis for the conflicts among the Muslim and the Judeo Christian world. Indeed, the campaign of fundamentalist Islam is against Western Civilization. It brutalizes women and children. Peace with Israel is not even in the fundamentalist Muslim playbook. Wilders recognizes that Israel is the victim of fundamentalist Muslim brutality, because Israel serves as an easily bullied symbol of everything Western. However, the mistake lies in failing to understand that being Muslim and acceptance of a Judeo-Christian ethic are not mutually exclusive. Lumping all Muslims together in one big category of evil is overly simplistic and plain wrong. Distinguishing between fundamentalist, radical Islam and the more tolerant among the Muslim community is crucial. There are many peaceful, kind Muslims, even among observant Muslims and they need to come forward so that they can get well-deserved recognition and support.
Society needs to avoid the low road of hatred. Any tax or ban of religious garb, and certainly the ban of the Koran or bible in any country is absolutely unacceptable. Equally unacceptable are any violent attacks against anyone who criticizes either the Western or Muslim communities. As we tell children, use words, not fists, remembering always that words can be a source of healing. Wisdom often comes from the mouths of the simple and Rodney King, the robber who was caught and beaten by Los Angeles Police after a high speed chase, said it best when he posed the question: "Why can't we all just get along?" Even Anne Frank, in her diary, stated her belief that "...all people are basically good."
Sunday, August 1, 2010
The Parent Trap
Parents constantly make decisions for their children. Making choices that affect someone else's future can be a frightening and intimidating responsibility. One wonders how and whether the choice will effect the child in the long term. Though life experience and educated advisors are helpful guides, it remains burdonsome to resolve murky areas for another person. The right path is often uncertain.
Some decisions are easily made, like providing food, shelter, clothes, medical care and an education. That's easy. The debatable issues, where one decision could be as right or wrong as another, invariably result in frustrating debates. Consider, for example, the decision to put a child on medication for ADHD. Medications carry risks, both known and unknown, but they also hold the promise of permitting a child to function optimally. On the other hand, the drugs don't always make a difference. It is one thing to make a choice for oneself, but quite another to make a decision for another person.
No one has all the answers. Circular debates must eventually yield a decision, and whatever decision is reached has to be accepted as the definitively right answer. Like any good corporate or government leader, being a parent requires inner resolve. In truth, though, the most any parent can do is make a best guess and assume an appearance confidence.
Some decisions are easily made, like providing food, shelter, clothes, medical care and an education. That's easy. The debatable issues, where one decision could be as right or wrong as another, invariably result in frustrating debates. Consider, for example, the decision to put a child on medication for ADHD. Medications carry risks, both known and unknown, but they also hold the promise of permitting a child to function optimally. On the other hand, the drugs don't always make a difference. It is one thing to make a choice for oneself, but quite another to make a decision for another person.
No one has all the answers. Circular debates must eventually yield a decision, and whatever decision is reached has to be accepted as the definitively right answer. Like any good corporate or government leader, being a parent requires inner resolve. In truth, though, the most any parent can do is make a best guess and assume an appearance confidence.
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