Why is this day different?

Christmas makes me appreciate that I am different. I am not part of the dominant, white Christian culture, thoughsSome of my best friends are both white and Christian. Seriously. But the experience of not being part of the mainstream, not being part of the revelry that is Christmas, reminds me of my heritage.

The exclusion is just as much as a reminder as is observance. To be sure, there are subtle differences in experiencing exclusion versus observance. Observance requires active involvement with tradition, while exclusion is passive and subtle.

This time of year highlights an awkward divide. Some Christian friends are at a loss for words. One friend warmly drew us into her home and celebration. We honestly had great fun and ate ourselves silly, but we were visitors. I am proud of who I am, I am comfortable and I am grateful to appreciate what it feels like to be different.

When I am among the dominant culture in the room, I have the strength to reach out to the 'other' among us. Today, I have everything in common with any other non-Christian. How ironic that on Christian holidays, Muslims and Jews are especially united as outsiders. If only we could embrace that commonality.

Postcards from the edge

In some respects, receiving cards from friends at holidays is a warm gesture that I appreciate. How nice it is to know that you are in someone's thoughts. On the other hand, once I have opened the envelope, I have no idea of what to do with these cards.

Frankly, the cards I receive are promptly placed in the garbage. Then, I feel badly; someone thought enough to keep me in their thoughts, and I toss their card in the trash. Being environmentally conscious makes the greeting card issue especially irksome. Someone thought enough to send me a card, I guiltily toss the missive or picture of their precious children and, to top it all off, I get an additional dose of guilt for having added to a landfill.

My solution is that I simply don't send out holiday cards. Never have, never will. I don't send them for the Jewish New Year, nor do I send them at Christmas. On occasion, I have sent out e-mail missives for various holidays and that is about the extent of it. Perhaps I should be more thoughtful. Perhaps I should be more organized, but I am not. Oh well, I suppose I will have to accept imperfection. Happy holidays to all.