The Journey of our LIves

Passover commemorates the liberation of the Jewish people from slavery in Egypt. Jews around the world start this holiday with an at-home Passover service that is called a Seder, and a book called the Haggadah contains the ceremony's liturgy. Throughout the ensuing week, Jews refrain from eating bread and other grains that have been permitted to rise. Bread is replaced by matzo, a mixture of flour and water that is cooked into a cracker in no more than 18 minutes. Eating matzo reminds us that our ancestors had to get out so quickly, that they didn't have time to let their bread rise. The Haggadah instructs each Jew to undertake the journey as if he or she had been present at the exodus from Egypt.

I am Jewish and, with my family, I celebrate Passover. I have been celebrating this holiday my entire life. In adulthood, I have found a slightly different lesson in this holiday every single year. This amazes me. This year, "the journey" has occupied my thoughts.

The journey undertaken by those ancient Jews with Moses required both collective and individual change. Exodus required reformation of the collective, lower than subservient self-image. That collective negativity remains a plague. Our collective remains threatened and afraid - perhaps with good cause. For centuries, Jews have tried to "pass" and our modern artists have explored this phenomenon. Philip Roth, in "The Human Stain" explores this desire to be one with white culture through the ironic vehicle of a black protagonist who spends his life passing as Jewish. Anne Roiphe's magnificent portrayal of her family in "1185 Park Avenue," contains illustrations of classic, modern-day identity conflict. Pointedly describing her perception of Episcopalian non-Jews in her youth, Roiphe states in the first chapter of her book:

"If society is a pyramid in which the top comes to a point, they were the point. They did not so much cast a shadow over the rest as provide a source of constant anxiety for the others. That is the place where you weren't wanted. That is the restricted hotel on this block. That is the hospital that doesn't allow Jewish doctors to admit patients. That is the school you won't bother to apply to. "Them" was the word spoken with a touch of awe and a spark of anger. Who are "they" really to think they own the world and are so much better than "us"? The big businesses, the big banks, the big fortunes, the big givers to charity, the big owners of boxes at the opera: all of them were "them." They didn't want "us." Who cared. In America who cared. And besides one could imitate them or at least try."

In my individual journey, I have tried to shed shame about my identity. I am not the only modern Jew following a road away from self-hate and towards embracing a wonderful tradition. Self-acceptance takes fortitude, but self-acceptance offers the gift of release. Judgment of choices that other people make for their journeys is not necessary. I can choose my path, and other people can choose theirs. A broader acceptance is also being experienced by society at large - with both negative and positive consequences. Isn't it interesting that we all are still in the midst of an Exodus?

May you all have engaging spiritual journeys in the coming week, no matter what holiday you celebrate!